I got sick last week with a very bad cold and got busy with work. I did not have the energy to get to this. And I mourned the loss of another friend a week ago. A beloved friend passed away suddenly while I was away in California, I literally got the news via a voice mail while waiting at the gate. I could not come out for the funeral nor Shiva, but was able to attend the thirty day memorial. There I saw the widow and two daughters. When I embraced the youngest, the one I am closest to, she wrapped her arms around me and began to sob, burying her face in my chest. I cried as well, holding her head in one hand and wrapping my other around her, holding on as we dove into the abyss of sorrow.
What a gift that was, to have someone love me enough to open their soul to what was around them. She did the same for me, as I had fire-walled this loss as best I could since I got the news. I tried to visit his grave but the snow prevented me from finding it. So I kept pushing it aside until Love, and let's just call it what it IS, Love, broke open the gates and allowed the hurt to come out.
Last week, at my mother's birthday, I found out someone else I knew died. He was a priest whom I knew as a child and would run into every now and again. He had accidentally called me on New year's Eve and we talked about the new pope. He was wonderful and we hoped to meet up soon after. We never did.
My friend who passed away..... his widow said something. She said, "He was all full of hope before he died so suddenly. Nobody saw this coming. He was planning on teaching friends and writing a book and enjoying his retirement." Those words hit me like a stone in the face.
The words of obvious time ahead negated by Fate.
