Tea and Sympathy

I awoke really late this morning listening to the sounds of the Morton Feldman piano and string Quartet piece done by the Kronos Quartet and Aki Takahashi. This piece always reminds me of my late friend Sharon Spitalney who died at the age of 22 back in 1992 from basically her body shutting down after a bone arrow transplant to fight an undiagnosed advanced case of aplastic anemia. The day I got a photograph of her from her parents (after telling them I dedicated a song and album to her),I fell amazingly ill with a stomach virus. I had just gotten the Kronos quartet CD and listened to it the entire afternoon and night while in bed. To this day, there are moments when my bones ache I miss her so much. She was the kindest and strongest artistic soul I have ever seen. She was a poet who spoke without anger, she had the most beautiful hands and we danced once backstage at cabaret we both performed at. There are some people whose presence is so great that when they leave it is still there and you are forced out of respect, love and duty to walk in it, regardless of how much it reminds you of them.

I am drinking a huge bowl-cup of tea right now and doing my best to try to go without solid food today. Tons of water and tea should do it. Food is a distraction so much of the time. Coffee as well. Don't get me wrong, I love them both, but I am the kind of person that needs distance from things that I love to appreciate them. I take things and people for granted. We all do. But there is a line between being orgasmically grateful for every little thing and apathy. Maybe that is why we are to say grace before meals, thanking god for the food, never taking it as a given. The Our Father has that in it as well. We do need to be reminded. The more one has the more one takes things for granted. It is human nature stretching back to the Garden of Eden. Everything..... but the fruit of one tree. And I am sure the fruit tasted amazing, the best fruit ever consumed, but it came with a price as does all experience.

With the hammer about to fall with work and bills and what will happen next, I really wish I could just talk to someone. Do not get me wrong, I have amazing friends, but we are all busy. Tonight I am hopefully going to meet up with my friend Scott and we can talk. That is rather amazing. But I suppose all of us desire to really be able to have someone who knows exactly what we are going through and who can guide us, tell us the future. I totally understand the desire for psychics.  Who the hell does NOT want to talk to their deceased loved ones or know what their future will be. But that is a dangerous game that can become a self-fulfilling prophecy. 

Sometimes all we need is some sympathy, someone who will listen and let us figure out the solution to our problems by exposing them to the light. Then again this is Peace Prayer of St. Francis, so nothing is ever really new, is it?